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Apologies to KStew

July 26, 2012

By my count, there are at least five issues related to the Kristen Stewart cheating story.

Issue 1: Two persons in separate intimate relationships begin an intimate relationship of their own. There are reasons why people choose to cheat on a partner. I’d say most are not to hurt their partner. Some have practiced poor choices for so long that it seems wrong is all they can choose. Transference is another reason and I’d dare say that is the majority reason. Here is an example of transference: Bob’s wife never complements him on his attire as he leaves for work. She always seems to be asking Bob to do something and never thanks him. Bob gets to work and is complemented often on his attire by co-worker Jane. When Bob helps Jane on a project or something trivial she always thanks him. Bob starts to compare Jane with his wife. His wife never thanks him, but Jane does. His wife hates the way he dresses, but Jane always complements him. If Jane is having similar thoughts about her husband, she starts comparing him to Bob. I hope you can see the way this can progress until you have a full-blown affair happening. Beware of transference!

I’m not saying this is what happened in Kristen Stewart’s case (everyone knows Rob Pattinson is perfect), but I’d say there was something going on in both relationships that wasn’t being resolved and led to some transference. (You know I’m just kidding about Rob.)

Issue 2: Someone digitally captured them canoodling.

Issue 3: The canoodling capture-er shared the photo and probably made a lot of money. This person knew the pictures would create news. This person also knew the potential it had to create a lot of drama, not just in the news, but in those persons’ lives. This was all disregarded for a job.

Issue 4: The photog has a job because the general population loves gossip and drama. Some probably have dreams that Robert Pattinson will leave Kristen and somehow fall into their arms.

Issue 5: Someone chooses to run the photos and story online or in a magazine. They could choose not to, but again, the general population loves this stuff.

I have to admit, I’m interested in entertainment news. I don’t seek it out, but if I’m checking Yahoo News! and see it I’ll click to read the article. I don’t make excuses that it’s ok because celebrities have put themselves in the position to be photographed and scrutinized. I don’t make the excuse that it’s ok to judge them because they put themselves out there. I know there’s something just not right about it, but I still do it.

I guess the point of this is to get you and me thinking about the everyday activities that happen and our choices surrounding them. I have the choice to spread a rumor I’ve heard or keep it to myself. I have the choice whether to take a picture of a celebrity grocery shopping and tweeting it to the world. I have the choice whether I engage in gossip. (That’s a hard one for me because I like to talk and be part of conversations.) If you catch me in any of these acts or other detrimental behaviors (to myself or others), gently bring it to my attention.

To Kristen and Mr. Director, I’m sorry that a snowball of poor choices has created so many problems. I’m sorry that we live in a world where your troubles and life events are our entertainment. Unfortunately, doing your best to keep a relationship extremely private in your world has created more of an intense hunting feeling to get whatever private info that can be found. All the best in working this out with those you love.

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